Wedding planning: Tips for the mother of the groom
Having been a bride and not yet a mother of the groom since I do not have children I can only offer advise from the brides side of things. There’s really a few simple general rules to follow to make sure the whole event is enjoyable for everyone.
The first and foremost tip would be to remember it’s their day. They want and need your input but if you try and turn it into the wedding of your dreams instead of theirs it won’t be any fun for them. After all it really is their day and it should be special for them if they only want to invite a few people and have a Zorro theme you should help them. Telling them they’re crazy or manipulating the situation so they have a big traditional wedding will only cause unrest. I get that you may have your heart set on certain things or family traditions being observed and they should hear you out but you do have to be careful how you approach the idea for it to be received.
For example if you want the bride to wear something like a special hair piece that has been in the family for years and everyone in the family has worn it for their wedding and it seems to have been good luck then you should give her the option of wearing it and let her know it would mean a lot. If it doesn’t match her dress or hair style try and incorporate it else where like on the dress as an accent if it would work or on the garter maybe. The bride really does want you to be happy too, unless you’re mortal enemies, she should work with you on it to come up with a compromise.
That brings me to the second tip would be to not forget the meaning of compromise. It does not mean wear them out with pestering until you get your way or when they say no go behind their back and do it anyway. On my wedding day my mom and mom in-law to be went to pick up the flowers. Now I personally went in and told the florist exactly what I wanted, which was not much since I am terribly allergic to flowers and no bride wants a runny nose walking down the isle, and saw them when they were done I just couldn’t take them to the church. They came back with four times the amount that I ordered and placed them around while I was getting ready. They both knew my reasons they just ignored my wishes and when I noticed the extras I was getting ready to walk down the isle. Needless to say I was furious. I kept a smiley face for the rest of the day but I let them know I was hurt that they didn’t take my wishes into consideration on what was supposed to be my day.
The third would have to be is to give them their space. This time is insanely stressful and they don’t really need the added pressure of you following them around and showing up unexpected. If there’s something wedding related that you are not included in they are not purposefully trying to exclude you they may just need the time to try and make some decisions about their day by themselves without any outside influences. When you show up uninvited it makes them think too like are you having them followed so that you know where they are all the time and are you always going to keep tabs on them after they’re married.
After the big day it is so important that you let them have time to settle into their new together lifestyle before you start calling and letting them know you’re coming to stay with them for the weekend. Which quite frankly I don’t think I would allow that luckily I don’t have those type of in-laws.
Finally don’t stress over the little things remember that if you’ve been married you’ve already had your day it’s your son and his wife’s turn now. If you haven’t been married then just make sure you keep yourself busy because you’ll need a distraction just in case you feel yourself being too pushy.
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Tags: Family Traditions, Florist, Zorro