Tips for writing your wedding vows

Wedding hair, left side

While in the midst of planning my own wedding, sewing my own dress, and making my own cake, I can barely remember having time to write my wedding vows, but my husband to be wanted to write our own. Since I was a writer by nature I figured “No problem.” I smiled sweetly at him. But as crunch time came I was unprepared. The flowers were picked out and to be delivered the next day to the banquet hall. My dress had gone through its last revision and fitting. Luckily, my bride’s maids were wearing their own thing as long as it was blue any shade. The cake had been put together and covered in Fondant with gum paste flowers arranged just so, fresh flowers were to be put on in the morning when we arrived.

1:00 AM came and I was sitting there with a yellow legal note pad wondering what I was going to write. I was utterly lost. For a moment I wondered if I should even be getting married. If I couldn’t just whip out some mushy vows, maybe I wasn’t ready for a lifetime of commitment. Crazy discouraged thoughts wasted at least twenty minutes of what could have been beauty sleep.

Finally I put the pen to the paper and wrote whatever I could think of. I figured if all else failed I would improvise at the altar. I was always good for doing a little improv. But as I wrote I started to think about his hands, his lips, his light blue eyes, all the things that made me fall in love with him. The way he would walk on the outside of the sidewalk just in case a car crashed into us, he would be there to protect me. The way he ran his fingers through my hair when I was upset, petting my head and wiping away my tears. The way we first met, how we didn’t like each other for two weeks, until our mutual friend forced us to be in the same car together. How I can always count on him to make me laugh no matter what is going on around us.

Finally about an hour later I realized I had written my vows. Sure they might not be perfect, but then again we aren’t perfect either. But no matter what happens in our lives I knew we would always be perfect for each other, every day.

What you write down on the piece of paper is of little meaning. In the end I didn’t follow any script, in fact I had a few glasses of champagne before walking up the isle and stuttered and stammered through half of it. But we both smiled, knowing that the vows being said were not as truly important as the meaning and feelings behind them.

Sure you can promise to love and cherish each other till death, but what does that mean? You can promise to find laughter each day, to hold them when they cry, to be their strength when they have none, to respect them, to be faithful to them, and to care for them until the end.

After almost ten years we still have the laughter. Even though there have been fights, there have been times when we really didn’t like each other let alone love each other. There have been times when being in the same room with him has made me want to scream and run for the hills. But what I remember most about my vows is that I love this man, even though he is flawed and because of his flaws. I accept that we might not always see eye to eye, but on that special day, everything was as perfect as life could ever possibly get. Of course then one of the guest’s dog knocked over the cake sending it all over my dress…but hey that’s life, nothing is ever as we plan, but we did get a good laugh out of it.

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