
Humor: Weddings – Part 6

I’m writing in my diary though mum told me to go and get dressed.it’s my wedding today and it is meant to be the happiest moment of my life but it feels like the saddest and most tiring moment of my life.
Everyone if fussing about me; aunt Margaret brushed my updo and put it in a high knot on my head.it was hideous but i couldn’t hurt her feelings so i said that it looks gorgeous. i bet i look like a kangaroo. Heather went to get my dress. it is very pretty buy i wished it wasn’t white you know white represents purity; i know that i am not a pure girl so maybe i could have worn a black dress instead. Gary washed the car until it was sparkling clean; mum had to tell him to stop. Mum helped me to brush my teeth! and kept on whimpering about losing her little girl. i am not that little i should confess; you can’t call someone who is 22 years of age little but anyway i went on with it.
Fred called the house three times to find out if everything was okay. he definitely doesn’t know about the bad luck thing if you contact your bride. if there is any one who is going to have the bad luck, it is Fred. he is 78 years old and the only valid reason that i am marrying him is that he has lots and lots of money.
I can just picture myself in a Dior suit, living in a mansion and looking at money as if it grew on trees. wow! that would be a dream come true. Belinda my older sister is so jealous that i am marring a rich man like Fred. she got married to Tom who has a big mouth and would not win Mr World any day. i can’t imagine her kissing him. she must have felt so sick.
I am not going to kiss Fred today. I paid that fake priest 100 to remove “you may now kiss the bride” and put “you may now hit the groom”.
I didn’t put the “you may now hit the groom”phrase because mother said that it would be very mean and insensitive of me to do that to my future husband. I certainly don’t want to be Fred’s Wife for long. i just wish that he would die of. That is what i pray for whenever i am praying.
Anyway i have an hour left to get dressed and go and meet Fred in church. i suppose i should stand him up but it wouldn’t be fair.
wish me luck
with love
Fiona.
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